Friday, January 25, 2008

Approval Addiction Syndrome

Are you obsessed with what do others think about you? Do you have a life that revolves around seeking everyone's approval? Do you feel sad & low if someone disapproves of you? If you answered "yes" to any of those questions then my friend you suffer from what is called the Approval Addiction Syndrome.

If you keep concentrating ‘bout what others think of you and you run here & there to get their approval........then sooner or later, you will be running faster than you can, working harder than you can until you get exhausted. Soon, you will feel you can’t live up to everyone’s expectations. And then you will feel helpless, frustrated & depressed.

More often than not we do things to please others, as we feel it’s human to meet others expectations with you and it’s devilish to betray them. We please one person. Another one comes, we do something else to please him. Another, another, another....phew! The cycle goes on and on and on. And sooner we realize that we are not able to please everyone. And even if we are able to please most of the people, we are not happy with ourselves. Stop! Review yourself before that happens with you. Value your happiness.

There is a saying, “Please all, and you will please none”. And it’s more than true. We can’t please everyone around. And if someone is unhappy ‘bout me, someone doesn’t like me, it’s very much possible that I am doing something right still. It means I am being myself. And then it’s true that not everyone will like that. Be it.

Remember, You need to live life for yourself. Value what pleases you. Yes you have to keep others with you but that doesn’t mean that everyone around you have to be happy with you. Please few. Upset few also. :) There has to be a balance. And if you can’t make that balance between your people, you will have to compensate it with yourself. All will be happy, except you.

These are the few symptoms that may tell you that you are affected too:

• Feeling hurt by others’ thinking about you.
• Habitually comparing yourself to others.
• Trying to be competitive in the most ordinary situations.
• A nagging gumption that we aren’t important enough, or special enough.
• Trying to ‘impress’ important people.
• etc., etc., etc.

How many do you have?

Now the million dollar question............knowing all these why we do so still? The answer is Fear. We fear of being rejected. We fear of being discarded. We fear of being disapproved. We fear of others' cold responses to us if we fail to please them. We need to let go this fear. We need to free our mind from this botheration.

Remember, If we lose people because we couldn’t please them, don't be sad, they were never worth keeping.

I can’t help link to the following book titled “Approval Addiction” by Joyce Meyer. The book is exceptionally well and is worth reading.

So, If you are affected with this syndrome too, get yourself cured now. There is no medicine. All you need is to live for yourself. Be yourself.

Be yourself!!!